Life with Dementia: The Dubuque Event That Can Teach You More

I've written on the subject several times in the past, as it hits close to home for me. In my life, I've seen two grandparents suffer from dementia and ultimately Alzheimer's.

Get our free mobile app

The first was my great-grandma Gray. She was a wonderful, sweet woman who played the organ and always "sugared" me up when I visited her, along with my grandmother. As dementia took hold of her, she lost everything that she was. She became aggressive and angry. She didn't know where she was or who was taking care of her daily. Her life ended in a senior home in Monticello. I remember visiting her there; it's a memory I'll always have, and it's not a pretty one.

My second experience is ongoing. My grandma, Elaine, was the kind of woman who did everything for everyone. I mean, you'd have to be with 12 kids, right?! She was a hard worker who was dedicated to her family, but before I was ever even married (nearly 16 years ago), she had already forgotten who I was.

She is still alive today, battling the same monster that also took my great-grandma Gray. This disease takes past joyful memories and turns them into a curse. Searching for loved ones who have moved on and for children and grandchildren who have grown up. I love seeing my grandma, Elaine, at the family fish frys. I always make it a point to give her a hug and kiss, and tell her I love her. Even if she doesn't know me, I know her. I also know how much work it takes for her family (my parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins) to care for her, as my grandfather Gerald passed away a few years ago.

It’s stories like these that underscore the importance of community understanding and support for people living or dealing with dementia. That’s exactly the goal of the Dementia Friends informational session being hosted by Carnegie-Stout Public Library on Tuesday, September 23rd, from 10 to 11 AM in Dubuque.

The free, one-hour program is offered in partnership with the Northeast Iowa Area Agency on Aging and Dementia Friendly Iowa. It will be led by Nancy Zachar Fett, LMSW, a Dementia Friends Champion and professor of social work at Loras College.

Attendees will learn what dementia is, what it’s like to live with it, and practical tips for communicating with and supporting people who have the disease. No registration is required, and the program is open to adults ages 18 and older.

As the number of people living with dementia continues to rise in Iowa, so does the need for public awareness and empathy. The Dementia Friends initiative encourages participants to turn their new understanding into an action, no matter how big or small, that supports someone living with dementia.

For me, that means remembering my great-grandma Gray and grandma Elaine for who they always were, not who they became after the disease. For others, it might mean being patient in a grocery store line, offering help to a caregiver, or simply learning to communicate more effectively with a neighbor who might be struggling. Think of the session as an opportunity for Dubuque to come together, learn, and be part of a movement that helps families like mine and countless others live well despite dementia.