Hey Tri-States: Did Valentine’s Day Open You Up to a “Confidence” Scam?

Valentine's Day has a way of making single folks hopeful. Maybe you met someone through a dating site, or maybe a random text or call. Either way, love was, and usually is, in the air for Valentine's Day. But just as sharks to blood will circle, the scammers were out in full force. They target the lonely and alone, and Valentine's Day plays right into their schemes. In fact, so prevalent have become these scams that the Chicago Field Office of the FBI just dropped a new video about these very romance scams, a.k.a. "confidence" scams. And trust me, nobody is immune in the Tri-States.

As with any scam, the initial contact seems like a connection. The person on the other end seems genuinely thoughtful. They might ask about your day at work. They'll remember your kid’s basketball game or latest event. They say they can’t wait to finally meet you, although a date is never set. Usually they’re "working overseas." Jobs like military, oil rigs, and international contractors come to mind. By the way, that conveniently explains why you can’t meet face-to-face, but one day...

They take you for everything you've got. Well, maybe not initially, but that's their goal anyway. Now that you're "confident," they're actually your friend and not that old "obscure crown prince from Nigeria, seeking aid" trope, you're in for some heartache: imaginary and then later, much more real.

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Eventually, your friend has an untimely travel delay, medical bill, great business deal, etc. They just need a little help. You know, maybe a wire transfer, some gift cards, or even some bitcoin. Since some form of trust has already been built, it’s easy to believe you’re helping someone you actually care about, not some guy in a call center thousands of miles away, waiting on that credit card number.

Well, according to the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3), more than 7,000 Americans over the age of 60 lost nearly $400 million to romance scams in 2024 alone. Just 2024! And here’s one that should make Illinois residents pay close attention: your state ranks sixth in the nation for internet-based financial crimes, with over 25,000 cases and nearly $500 million in reported losses: $500,000,000!

These criminals don’t care if you’re from a small rural town in Wisconsin, a river community in Iowa, or live in downtown Chicago. They target everyone. But here'is where a little Midwest Common sense can go a long way.

• Go slow and ask questions. Real relationships don’t need to be rushed. If someone is pushing for instant love, pump the brakes.
• Keep conversations on the original platform at first. Scammers love moving chats to encrypted apps quickly so there’s less oversight.
• Never send money to someone you haven’t met in person. Not for travel. Not for an emergency. Not for an “investment opportunity.”
• Don’t send gift cards, wire transfers, or cryptocurrency. Those are scammer favorites because they’re nearly impossible to trace.
• Never share your Social Security number, banking information, or other personal details. No legitimate online romance requires information of that kind.
• Talk to someone you trust. This is so big! If a new online partner discourages you from telling family or friends, that’s a major red flag.
• Finally, if it feels off, stop contact immediately. Trust your gut; it’s usually right.

At the end of the day, people are going to get scammed. It is important that when it does happen, we limit the damage by walking through these steps. Look, if something seems too good to be true, there's a good chance it is. If you believe you’ve been targeted, report it at ic3.gov, call 1-800-CALL-FBI (1-800-225-5324), or always 911 in an emergency. Seniors who need assistance can contact the National Elder Fraud Hotline at 833-372-8311. Be safe. Stay smart.