Should Iowa Schools Teach Sex Ed?

Sex education in schools has always been a hot-button issue, and in Iowa, the debate has intensified significantly. A recent study and legislative action indicate that many Iowans view sex education negatively. This has led to policy shifts that now reduce or restrict what schools can teach about sexual health, gender identity, and even disease prevention. But this raises a fundamental question: should anyone other than parents be teaching children about sex at all?

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For more and more Iowans, especially parents, the answer is a clear NO.
That study has shown that Iowa falls in the top 10, coming in at #8 (46%), for negative discussions regarding sex education. I've always thought of parents as the primary educators of their children. Why shouldn't they be responsible for not just teaching them about the biology of sex, but also instilling emotional, moral, and ethical values regarding it? Like my mother always said, "Sex is a beautiful and wonderful thing. But it's important to understand why and who you are sharing in that experience with, and the possible consequences of it." But that's just it, my mother didn't treat sex like it was a bad thing, but rather that it was an extremely important and special thing. That's essentially what is missing when a "stranger" teaches your kids, or worse if they mess it all up and confuse them even more. I mean, who remembers the infamous "sex ed" episode from The Wonder Years?

One major concern is that public school sex ed ignores individual differences among children. While subjects like math and reading are taught at levels that usually match a child's cognitive development, sex education is often delivered to an entire grade level at once, regardless of whether students are physically or emotionally ready to process the information. This can be insensitive and even harmful.

I'm very conservative when it comes to my kids and family, and I feel like some of the things I've seen and heard coming from sex education today are inappropriate for children - or at least my own kids. That being said, I do see some good coming out of having discussions with peers under adult supervision. The question always comes back to, is the classroom the right setting? In my school's case, there is the option for parents to opt students out of sex education. If it doesn't seem right to you, that's the place to start at least.

Critics argue that forcing boys and girls to discuss sexual anatomy and function together in a classroom setting erodes their natural sense of modesty and eliminates any real discussions about potential problems or issues some kids may be struggling with. That being said, other children should not be subjected to the issues that other peers may be dealing with.

Many parents (myself included) worry that these lessons contribute to a breakdown in traditional values and normalize discussions that may be extremely inappropriate for young minds, especially in classroom settings. Again, let me ask you, do you trust EVERY teacher in charge of sex education to teach your child "correctly," or how you'd like? Probably not. If you're uncomfortable speaking to your kids about sex, think about how much worse it is for your kids to be taught by a "stranger." Even worse, someone who doesn't share an ounce of your moral, ethical, or ideological nuance when "educating."

Another major issue is transparency. Parents often cannot know exactly what is being said behind closed classroom doors. I only learned what my daughter was being taught after the classroom session. While curriculum outlines exist, they don’t capture the teacher’s personal opinions, attitudes, or methods of instruction. Without sitting in on every lesson, parents cannot verify what their child is learning or if it's even beneficial. It's totally fine if you'd like to call me a "prude," but I think it would be much better that my son and daughters learned from their parents, and I think your kids would be better off if you taught them too.

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Some fear that public school sex ed pushes particular ideologies rather than focusing solely on biological facts. Instead of reinforcing chastity, self-discipline, and personal responsibility, modern programs tend to focus on birth control methods, abortion access, and condom use — sending the message that premarital sex is expected and acceptable, as long as it's "safe." Maybe instead, we should spend some time talking about the emotional turmoil that occurs when someone is "used" as an object, instead of a thinking, feeling human.

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Concerns from Public Health Experts

Despite these concerns, some medical professionals and educators argue that comprehensive sex education is critical for keeping teens informed and safe. According to Dr. Anne-Marie Amies Oelschlager, a pediatric and adolescent gynecologist at Seattle Children’s Hospital, young people need trusted adults to provide them with medically accurate information. Without it, they often turn to social media or peers, where misinformation spreads easily. But who should be more trusted than your parent?

Data from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) support these concerns. While fewer teens are sexually active today than in past decades, teenagers and young adults account for half of all new STDs. Experts warn that without proper education on safe sexual activity and relationship violence, young people may be more vulnerable to unhealthy or risky situations.

Supporters say Iowa lawmakers are moving in the opposite direction. Gov. Reynolds’ education bill restricts discussion of gender identity and sexual orientation in classrooms up to sixth grade. Quick question, why is it even important for 6th graders to have any kind of knowledge on gender identity or sexual orientation? I see the need to explain to kids about puberty and bodily changes. Use of deodorant, the unexpected growth of body hair, dealing with the female's monthly visitor, and telling the boys to maybe stop wearing sweatpants to school at the age of 12, but that has very little to do with any ideological stances when it comes to sexuality. Instead, isn't that what the school counselor, health professional, or (especially) the parents should be available for? Individualized self-care and instruction?

Critics worry that removing basic sexual health education could leave students unprepared for puberty, which can start as early as age 8 in girls and age 10 in boys. In response to Iowa’s new law, the state’s education agency recommended eliminating fifth-grade lessons on puberty and reproductive body parts altogether. I don't agree with that, as it is basic biology and should be known by those going through it. In this case, physical biology taught specifically to boys and girls about their natural changes isn't a bad thing, there is even the benefit of some crossover and learning about the changes that the other sex is going through as well. But that is a discussion of nature versus ideology, gender roles, and sexual constructs. Kids that age are usually (and should be) more worried about what Pokémon card they just got, rather than the opposite sex.

While proponents of these latest laws argue that parents should be the ones teaching their children about sex, others worry that not all parents have the time, knowledge, or willingness to provide these lessons at home. To that I say hogwash! As a parent you better take the time and responsibility to raise your children appropriately, or someone else will. The question then becomes, can you trust the one teaching them? Take a little responsibility, why don't you? Sure it's awkward and maybe it should be, but it's a very serious discussion that needs to take place, and the more open you are to your kids' questions the better prepared they will be when the issue becomes personal.

Does Sex Ed Even Work?

Supporters of comprehensive sex education argue that it helps reduce teen pregnancies and STDs, but the evidence has been mixed. A 2002 study in the Journal of Health Economics found that increased access to contraception was actually associated with a rise in underage pregnancies. This contradicts the common argument that more sex ed leads to lower rates of unintended pregnancy and abortion. If the data suggests otherwise, some question why schools continue to push these programs. Studies skew both ways it just depends on what point you are trying to make honestly. I see both good and bad in sex education. I feel like it is a necessity (for sure) I just don't know if the school is the right place to be discussing it.

Opponents argue that instead of focusing on birth control and abortion access, sex education should emphasize self-control and the consequences of actions. Kids need to learn why saying "no" is in their best interest — physically, emotionally, and mentally — at least for now. After all, the basic biology of sex and its interworking can essentially be taught in ten to twenty minutes; so, what exactly are schools discussing in a five to ten-week course? The cost of a new baby? Being a single parent? The embarrassment of a positive STD test? How to put on a condom? Things that are highly inappropriate in a classroom setting? Most parents will never know.

**What Message Are You Sending?**

Sex is more than just biology and birth control — it's about relationships, commitment, mental capacity, and, if I'm honest, ethics and morality. If schools reduce it to plumbing, pills, and contraceptives, they fail to provide students with the full beautiful picture of sex. The best sex education a child can receive is, and always will be, from their parents. Parents can tailor discussions to fit their child’s emotional and moral development and keep kids protected. Yeah, it might be super awkward but get over it. You're supposed to be the main guide in your child's life. Not some underpaid and overworked teacher who may not have your or your student's best interests in mind.

With Iowa’s laws shifting towards parental control and educational transparency, the debate over sex education is far from over. There are always the good, bad, and ugly of any situation. Is there a right way to teach sex ed in schools? Maybe, but I have my doubts, as many parents do. What it comes down to is for many Iowans: sex education belongs in the home, not the classroom. I may be in the minority on this, but I think it's time for us parents to do our jobs. I think our kids would be better for it. I'd be the first to tell you I don't have all the answers, and what works for me may not for you, but at the very least we should be able as parents to talk seriously with our kids about sex before anyone else does.